The honeymoon phase of a relationship is often the best—you’re madly in love and nothing can stop you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take much for it to all fade away. Time spent with your partner becomes routine, you get used to being with them, and the excitement starts to dim. Maintaining a relationship isn’t a piece of cake; it takes a lot of hard work to preserve happiness, you must nurture your love. If you just can’t then splitting up might be the better path, you think, but is it? When problems arise, some couples choose to resort to divorce, whereas others prefer to fight to save the marriage. This article talks about the choices couples make and where those choices take them.

People don’t just wake up one day and decide to end their marriage. On the contrary, it’s an accumulation of problems that are snowballing out of control towards a destructive direction. Whether it’s stress, financial concerns, infidelity, or other personal problems affecting a relationship, there’s always a solution. If you’re looking to save your marriage or divorce your spouse, you’ll always have an option.

As emotional beings, people end up saying a lot of mean things to each other in the heat of the moment. Controlling your anger when you’re boiling with fury isn’t exactly simple. Being kind to your partner during fights is a crucial trait. Kindness keeps love alive even when you’re arguing and even if the destination is divorce. Instead of rushing to say the best insult you can think of, try kindness by addressing the issue directly without criticizing your partner. What’s making you both unhappy? What’s putting so much strain on your marriage? Why is there always tension created between the two of you?

Even though divorce might seem the best way out, the process itself isn’t easy. Dealing with your relationship problems directly not only saves you the trouble of the lengthy and stressful process, but it could result in a stronger and happier relationship even if you eventually split up. Follow these tips for preventing relationship meltdowns and help you stay happy in a relationship or be happy apart.

1. Respect your spouse

Let’s face it, we all change over time. We grow, develop new habits, and discover new traits that make us the way we are. Improving a relationship starts with understanding that our partner goes through the same process and we have to respect and adapt to the changes occurring in the relationship. Everyone has qualities that make them stand out from others—remind each other what made you fall in love in the first place and honor the positive change you see in each other.

2. Avoid controlling each other

Nobody likes being told what to do, especially in a marriage. You’re in a relationship with your partner, not a prison run by a strict warden. Control and manipulation quickly turn a healthy relationship into a toxic one. Don't make the marriage seem like a prison. Don’t restrict each other’s freedom—your partner doesn’t need to ask for permission to come and go wherever they please. Are you or your partner acting as a jailer? Signs of a controlling relationship include your partner threatening, guilt-tripping, spying, belittling, pressuring you into doing things, and isolating you from your friends and family.

3. Listen to each other

You’d think listening to your partner is easy, but it’s one of the hardest things to do in a relationship, especially during an argument. The key to being a good listener is hearing what your spouse has to say without interrupting to defend your position. Don’t rush to play the victim; your partner will give up on the conversation and the argument will drag even longer. It’s just as important to remember the little things your partner tells you—listen to them with the same intensity as you did during your honeymoon phase. Whether it’s taking out the trash or wanting to try a new restaurant, remembering these things shows that your partner is truly being heard.

4. Be communicative

There’s a reason why they say communication is the key. How is your partner supposed to know about your wants and needs if you’re not telling them? It goes the other way around too, how will your partner figure out what’s going on with you if you won’t tell them. With many people spending more time on smartphones, it’s not that difficult to spend a full day with your partner and not have a proper conversation with them. Talk about what happened at work, a new TV show you want to watch, things you hope to achieve, and anything bothering you. Don’t bottle up feelings—be open and avoid being passive-aggressive towards each other.

5. Compliment each other

Make your partner grin from ear to ear by complimenting them both in public and private. Let your spouse know how much you appreciate the things they do through flattery and showing gratitude. A sincere compliment can make your partner’s day. Don’t restrict yourself to appearance-based compliments. Praise their achievements, admire their resiliency, appreciate their energy, applaud their perseverance, be grateful to be with them—show your partner you’re proud. Show them you notice the effort they are putting in to make the relationship work. It can be as simple as thanking them for taking out the trash or making dinner, even if that’s your daily routine

6. Make time for each other

It’s easy to get caught up in work and household chores, but devoting as little as 15 minutes of your time to connect with your partner can go a long way. It doesn’t matter how you spend the time—going for a walk, cuddling in bed, talking about your day—show each other that being together is a priority and not an option. Don’t be afraid of being affectionate. After all, you’re a couple, not roommates.

7. Talk about financial issues

Money can put a lot of strain on a relationship. Whether it’s the lack of it or certain spending habits, many marriages are plagued with obstacles regarding differences over finances. Clarify your financial expectations of your partner and make your perspective clear and transparent. Do not subject your partner to financial abuse—controlling your partner with money is a huge sign of a toxic relationship. Have a discussion about your budget and attitude towards debt. Be open to compromise and understand each other. Come to an agreement regarding handling money properly to make your marriage work.

8. Love them the way they like to be loved

Our idea of loving someone may not align with the other person’s interpretation. You may like PDA, but it could make your partner uncomfortable. They might like receiving flowers, but you might think it’s a waste of money. Learn how your partner likes to be loved—preparing their favorite dish, going on a spontaneous getaway, or simply staying in the night and watching their favorite movie could help prevent your marriage from ending.

9. Don’t stop going on dates

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you’re not dating anymore. Not going out with your partner every now and then can make them feel neglected and unloved. You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to take them out to a restaurant. Even if it’s something as simple as trying out a new restaurant or getting a burger together, these thoughtful gestures improve your relationship and eliminate the need for divorce.

10. Plan things together

Maintain a happy and healthy relationship by regularly taking up new adventures together. Discover a shared passion for fun and exciting activities that make your relationship an adventure. Be open to try new things together—take salsa classes, try scuba diving, teach your partner ice-skating, plan spontaneous trips to places you both want to visit. Prepare a joint bucket list with experiences that create wonderful memories and bring you closer together.

11. Give each other space

Time apart is just as important as time together. It’s important not to smother your partner. There could be certain things they like doing alone or with their friends. Balancing the right amount of time spent together is crucial. If they want to spend a night out with their friends, offer to make dinner and be supportive of their choices. The same applies to them—if you want to spend some time alone, your partner shouldn’t perceive that as neglect. Learn to respect each other’s space and balance it with spending quality time together. If it’s hard to plan “alone time” maybe calendar it on a weekly or monthly basis.

12. Don’t hold a grudge

The past is in the past, so why bring up former issues that are already solved? Holding a grudge towards your partner is not only immature, but it also shows that you weren’t over the problem, to begin with. A grudge leads to resentment, which in turn leads to trust issues—it takes up a lot of emotional space and negatively influences your mental health. In order to prevent a toxic relationship, address these issues at their core.

13. Learn to be forgiving

If you’re looking for tips for preventing divorce, the most important thing to do is learn to be a forgiving partner. Neither you nor your spouse are perfect human beings—making mistakes is perfectly normal. Prevent your marriage from ending and falling apart by being a forgiving spouse. Resolve your issues and avoid feeling contempt towards your partner.

14. Be faithful

It goes without saying that a partnership in marriage is built on trust. You’re making a long-term commitment to your spouse, not obtaining a new status. The thought of being better off outside of your marriage can create tension and lead to divorce. Challenge yourself to be loyal, devoted, and a dedicated partner to further improve your relationship.

15. Let your spouse be your best friend

The best kind of relationship is the one where your partner is your best friend. Maintaining a healthy relationship shouldn’t be a chore. Genuinely enjoying each other’s company is the key to a successful partnership in marriage. Laugh together, love one another, and support each other’s choices as you’d do with your best friend.

With all these tips for preventing divorce in mind, you just might save your marriage before it spirals out of control. Learn to listen, be open to criticism, love your partner for who they are, and you’ll maintain a healthy relationship that’ll last forever. However, if your marriage is beyond repair, save yourself time and energy by avoiding the regular divorce process—visit Split Happy for a seamless divorce without all the hate, stress, and negativity.

Last updated on Jan 26, 2021 by Split Happy